And lucky you, because the FORK experience truly is a great one. I feel that I have been on a journey. A musical, lyrical and cultural journey. Things that I never even knew were possible I now want more of ("I want more!") and songs and melodies I thought would never leave my head through their ear-wormly ghastliness have become newly socialised, firm friends who come and go like the glimmer of the Northern Lights.
I really enjoyed FORK.And you will too. The only disappointment I have for you is that it is not a two-night show. That's it. Their UK tour is over, and now you must go to Helsinki (or possibly Russia - they do tour there too, if that's more convenient for you) to see them. OK, so you go to Heathrow now, and get on the plane. You'll love Finland, they get all their heating from nuclear power stations. Great. I'll tell you more about them, to while away the bumpy bus journey that is the beginning of your FORKing.
Now, "I know what you're thinking". You're thinking why does this bus take so long to get me to my destination? The answer is probably a combination of ageing road infrastructure coupled with inexplicable stops in Milton Keynes. However, you might also be thinking, how do they make this glorious, soul-inflating sound using only their "Honey-coated human voices"? The answer is probably a combination of extreme technical polish, extraordinary vocal diversity, and ranges running from glorious Bachian counter-tenor to the deep, throbbing bass of a square wave synthesiser. They do use a man at the back (you'll know him when he is tech-staff jack-lamped later in the performance), who "Turns about 2,000 buttons" and by doing so, is able to loop certain sections, apply distortion or harmonics, and generally make the voice sound really like an electric guitar. It really is remarkable - remarkably tight, together, insane and inventive. What a joy."By the end of the night, you will all be dancing". We all were. It was great fun. No-one in the audience seemed to object. And there's more space in the aisles at the New Theatre than you'd imagine.
As an aside, the costumes are great. Very funny. They have lasers. You know a show has really made it when they have lasers.In fact, the whole show is very funny. They seem to take the music (or at least, how they produce the music) very seriously, producing the most technically polished, super-tightly timed masterpieces that rival any symphony orchestra or big band for clarity and co-ordination, but they don't seem to take themselves very seriously. And this is really, really nice. They are masters at playing (with) the audience, and they are so funny, and so good at it (and so tongue-in-cheek), that you don't mind being played. You are indeed left wanting more ("We want more!") of the inter-song repartee as much as you want another vocal masterpiece: who knows what they will transform next.
A famous Russian once said "You guys are really good at making versions I really like of songs I really hate." And this, surely, is the crux of the matter. They take something.... dreadful... (they indeed make an art of picking a yet worse piece of raw musical material) - a teenage-fan manipulating offering from the world of popular music ('maybe the one I want is you-oooo-oooo' etc, etc) and turn it into a soaring, balletic, vivid, dramatic, appealing, funny, vivacious super-version of itself. It's almost as if there is a well of potential lying in the cringe-worthy commercialised nature of these self-promulgating ear-affronting 'hits' which, when taken into the world of truth, light and FORK, find that the hero, all along, was them.Sparrows to eagles. Or possibly pigeons.
I cannot express how much you should see FORK. There is no limit! Perhaps this is your chance to become famous - most FORK gigs attended. I'm sure they'd sign your CD. (And then take out a restraining order.)"Hello, is it me you're looking for?" - certainly not. It's them, get thee to a FORKery, and revel.