Take it for what it is people.
Good clean (a bit too clean for a film about pirates if you ask me) entertainment with a cast you can actually stand to watch for 3 hours.
Although I must add, Miss Knightly does grate on ones nerves, with her impossible over acting, persistent pouting and that ghastly grimace! -I mean smile, which graces her every delighted expression, in every one of her films.
And my question is, can Orlando actually act? Seriously, I think I haven’t seen enough of his films to know…
Perhaps I am being a bit too scathing, when this movie should be appreciated as more than just the sum of its parts, attractive as they may be.
Don’t think, you’ll probably become irritated, Just watch - I say, let your eyes glaze over, as the merry mayhem careens through every plot hole…
SJ (Unverified), 14/07/07
Utter trash. About 2 hours too long. The plot is almost entirely non-existent. The 'battle' scene is pure nonsense in which the two main ships appear to be sucked in to a large plughole. This ought to be the final destination for this awful piece of 'filmaking'. I wish I hadn't bothered going and wasting my money to be honest. Wait for the TV appearance if you must.
Tom (Unverified), 11/07/07
There is indeed much that is funny and spectacular and enjoyable in this film, but for me it is fatally marred by having a completely incomprehensible plot. Perhaps modern audiences no longer require a good story, or even the faintest semblance of coherence, to link the gags together - my daughter, who has now seen this twice, was unfazed by it, and said the film was brilliant even though she was not able to tell me what the story was or answer any of my many questions about it.
Other disappointments included the collapse of Tom Hollander's excellent villain, Lord Cutler-Beckett - his earlier chilling intellectual superiority faded like mist in this movie as he was clearly also befuddled about what was going on and what on earth was supposed to be motivating his character. There were too many others to list. I don't think repeated viewings will disentangle for me the Gordian knot of deals, betrayals, double-crossings, promises, and pointless endeavours, so I won't be seeing it again. The absurdity was topped by Keira Knightley winding up as the Pirate King - she clearly isn't a serious pirate, as her teeth remained gleaming white throughout.
Andrea Hopkins (DI Reviewer), 04/06/07
This film is as fishy as one of its gags tries to be. There are some beautiful visual sequences - an upside-down ship flipped the right way up on screen so that the water becomes the sky and vice versa, and the vortex in to which the duelling ships are sucked for the climactic battle stand out. Otherwise just accept it for what it is: a load of old hokum - there's a pretence at a plot in there somewhere - which eventually delivers an incredible battle. Geoffrey Rush makes a grand pirate captain in the old mould; Johnny Depp doesn't get enough to do that really matters, and somehow is diminished whenever there's more than one of him on screen. Orlando Bloom's hair suddenly gets longer and glossier when... but I can't say when or it'd spoil the plot. Kiera Knightley remians undirtied throughout.
And as for the badly-porportioned 90' tall woman who turns in to a stack of crabs while shouting in a basso profundo voice: what's that meant to signify? Giant woman. Crabs. Deep bass voice. Men bowing in awe. The screenwriters are surely taking the mick.
JCM (Unverified), 03/06/07
Nearly three hours long? A friend asked the staff on the way in if there was an interval – there wasn’t. But I didn’t notice anyone sneaking off to the loo in the middle. In fact, we were all glued to the screen and time flew by.
It’s a roller coaster ride with plot twists and turns to keep you guessing. The cognoscenti from POTC1 and 2 will see some things coming – but in a good, no-don’t-do-that sort of way. It looks fabulous – the crabs are my personal favourite – the creative team has not nearly run out of imagination and inventiveness yet. Maybe a couple of moments when CGI shows its limitations (compare and contrast the Attack of the 50 Foot woman from 1958). Maybe Keith Richards didn’t really need the guitar… But I’m nit-picking… It’s the boy’s film of the trilogy, with fights and battles aplenty and not a swash left unbuckled. Even the wedding takes place in the middle of a battle with no hint of white dresses or cakes. But there's still more than enough Captain Jack for the (female) fans.
The story comes full circle – perhaps some of the loose ends are a little too neatly tied. But I liked ending up back where it all started. I'm not telling where that is – go see for yourself. And if some of you haven’t learnt your lesson yet, stay till the end. Watch all those credits. Wonder at the numbers of animators and stunt artists. It is worth it. Trust me.
Jules (Unverified), 25/05/07
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