St. Patrick's Day Competitions 2010

This competition is now closed. Winners will be announced shortly.

Poor St. Patrick. He expelled snakes and reintroduced Christianity to Western Europe, and his yearly festival has become a byword for drunkenness, frivolity and foolishness. Still, I suppose it could be worse. Look what happened to Christmas. And at least he gets more attention than St. David. To help you toast the name of Ireland's patron saint, and to celebrate all things Irish, Daily Info is running a limerick competition.

If you'd like to know more about what to do in Oxford on St. Patrick's Day, have a look at our guide to who, where, and what to do on the big night.

Prizes:

1. The Prince of Wales pub, Iffley is offering a voucher for £30 worth of food and drinks. This does not have to be used on St. Patrick's day itself. However, they are holding an Irish feast on St. Patrick's day, with a selection of traditional dishes from the Emerald Isle. Why not use your prize meal to sample delights such as Irish stew, boxty, drisheen and soda bread?

There are also three runner-up prizes:
2. The Oxford Irish Society and Eire Og are offering two free tickets (value £20) to their joint Irish Dance night on the evening of St. Patrick's Day.
and
3. & 4. The Prince of Wales pub, Iffley, is also offering two vouchers, each for £10 worth of drinks on the night of the 18th March, when the Prince of Wales will be holding an Irish music night.


Rules:

A limerick is five lines of text, using an AABBA rhyme structure. You already knew that, though.

The limerick can have any topic you like, but do try not to be obscene (something about this verse form seems to make that quite difficult). Rude limericks within these strictures may be permitted, depending on the quality of the verse. Although any theme is allowed, limericks dealing with Oxford, Ireland, the Prince of Wales pub or Daily Information may be looked upon favourably (it depends what you say, of course).

Only original submissions will be considered. If you can use Google to find a limerick, be assured we can too.

The competition will close at midday on Tuesday, 16th of March. The best limericks will be selected, their prizes allotted according to the result of heated arguments in the office over their various merits, and winners informed later that day.

Here are a few efforts from Daily Info staff to inspire you:

The city of spires that dreams
Is teeming with strawberries and cream
While out in a punt
I've got one down my front
I can't tell you the rest- it's obscene.

-Forkface

There once was a lass from St. Hugh's
Who always ran off with my shoes
When I called her a frog
She lobbed me my clog
And together we filled it with booze.

-Helvetia

There was a young scholar at Oxford
Whose bedframe was made out of boxwood
When alone with a chick
He'd carve it a nick
Having done as any old fox would.

-Jamie

 Happy rhyming! Just submit your limerick by email, or via the "Review" box to the right!

Want to know more about St. Patrick's Day? Have a look at our Feature Page.

Daily Information (Unverified), 05/03/10

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Not Oxford, but perhaps suitably academic?

There once was a raven called Quoth,
Who was a most terrible sloth,
He lamented of 'Woe!'
And 'Damn, Allan Poe!'
'Why couldn't you have made me a goth?'

Leen Van Broeck (DI User), 16/03/10

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Guinness at Thames
The most bitter of all beers
Tastes Guinness, O My Dears
Playing tune on gold black harp
Strengthens bodies,tongues makes sharp
And heals the stomach, triple Cheers!

MartinT (DI User), 16/03/10

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There was a young Brit called Scott
Who cried out loud 'I forgot!'
St.Paddy came over
Let him cry on his shoulder
Then said 'On the 16th, it's not'

Donna (Unverified), 15/03/10

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There once was an Irish Rover
Who swam all the way to Dover
His owner he frowned
Unti he was found
And he had him shipped back over

Donna (Unverified), 15/03/10

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A limerick:
“you must all be busy” I thought
I’ll keep it short

NeoN (DI User), 15/03/10

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If I spend St. Paddy's in Iffley
The Guinness will vanish swiftly
I'll be in the mood
For fine Irish food
And I might let the woman come with me

ConorTheBarbarian (DI User), 15/03/10

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There was this man from Holland
He thought he could write a poem
But he broke all the rhymes
O God, it wasn't fine
He was ashamed and he run off to Polland

barbarian (Unverified), 13/03/10

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There was an old sailor from Hull
Without any hair on the skull
With ink and a pin
Tattoed hair on his skin
But the young ladies still find dull

amsterdammer (Unverified), 13/03/10

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Snakes fled from the Saint called Patrick,
who roamed Ireland with an Ashwood stick,
to celebrate these tales,
get to the Prince of Wales,
and drink guinness until you are sick

Paddy Poet (Unverified), 12/03/10

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Paddy McGee was quite proud
Of his undies, manly and loud.
But a leprechaun's thong
Showed he was quite wrong...
What's below is what pleases the crowd!

Really should be working... (Unverified), 11/03/10

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I went to the Prince of Wales pub,
And decided to stay for some grub,
The food was so scrummy,
That I filled my big tummy,
And I had to give it a rub.

Short & Sweet (Unverified), 11/03/10

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There was an old man from the 'Ford
Who one day was terribly bored.
He looked up Daily Info
Found an ad for a nympho
And his passion was quickly restored.

Really should be working... (Unverified), 11/03/10

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An Oxford man working at Rover,
Once looked for a four leaf-ed clover,
He found one with two,
So what did he do?
Showed the front and then turned it over

William Brakspear (Unverified), 09/03/10

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There was a young man from Dungannon
On Thursdays he made great Colcannon
His ma said use cream
Two spuds and some green
But don't burn it if you leave the pan on

ConorTheBarbarian (DI User), 09/03/10

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Now young Paddy he did love his stout
He drank it day in and day out
His mother grew wise
Kept him under her eyes
And she stopped his fun, the old trout

ConorTheBarbarian (DI User), 09/03/10

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There was once an Irish student
Who could never be called too prudent
He drank Oxford dry
With some other guy
Who wore a a big hat like Ted Nugent

ConorTheBarbarian (DI User), 09/03/10

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There once was a man called St. Paddy
Of all Ireland - he was the Daddy
He's remembered in drink
By bad catholics I think
And me since I was a wee laddy

ConorTheBarbarian (DI User), 09/03/10

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In Iffley sits the Prince of Wales
An Inn of quality ales
With good music you'll dance
If given the chance
Cos St Paddy will put wind in your sails

Oxwall (Unverified), 09/03/10

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With dinner and drink as the prize
A limerick I must devise.
But I’m stuck for a rhyme
For Iffley this time;
So I’m going to starve, I surmise!

SMB (DI Reviewer), 09/03/10

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