Eight-Legged Freaks (12)

From the outset you discover that this film is out to entertain as much as to scare. The intro by the local paranoid alien radio man, and the informality of the subtitles, combine to reassure that it's not going to be all violins and gore. This, if your fear of spiders is anything like mine, comes as a great relief.

And it doesn't mess about either. There is a brief intro where the weird spider-collector introduces each species to his young friend while the spiders are still small and captive, so you know exactly what to expect of them once they're super-sized by toxicity. Characterisation is broad, simple and quickly dealt with, so that the people can get what they want : huge spiders creating mayhem.

And they do. My particular favourites are the jumpers, which can overtake motorbikes with their giant, instant, leaps. You may prefer the giant tarantula or the sinister orb-weavers: it's all a matter of personal taste.

What really makes or breaks a film like this is a) whether the special effects produce quality spiders and b) whether the funny bits are funny. Eight Legged Freaks wins on both counts : the spiders are huge and fast, make horrible noises, and produce lots of green gunk when required, and the silly bits are very silly, in a satisfyingly brutal sort of way.

It's not a cinematic classic, which is just as well because it never tries to be. It is however, lots of fun, and not so scary that fear is an excuse to miss it. I recommend it wholeheartedly to every two-legged freak in the area.

Ian Threadgill 21/08/02