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‘For the show virgins…hello, and welcome. Our
aim tonight is to make you laugh until you leave a little bit of wee on
your seat.’
Oxford Scouser Silky was on excellent compering form on
May eve at the monthly Bullingdon comedy club. The line up was impressive
- Milton Jones (of Radio 4’s ‘The Very World of Milton Jones’,
and Time Out’s 2003 best comedy performance award winner) and all-round
posh boy Will Smith (not that Will Smith). Whilst Smith pulled out at
the last minute due to having to record a TV pilot (proof, if any was
required, that Silky only books the cream of the comedy crop), we were
not destined to be disappointed. Into his sweaty shoes stepped the immaculately
ironed Mr Matt Welcome, sarcastic man of the month, and after Silky had
subdued the boring hecklers (led by Richard The Lawyer) the fun began.
Welcome takes a pack of cards, selects one, and rips the top right corner
off it. ‘See that? That’s the whole pack fucked,’ he says
as he scatters the deck on the floor. He doesn’t do magic. He does
however do sarcasm, maniacal laconic pedantry and the odd corny girly
joke (‘After dinner, the waiter asked us how we’d like our coffee.
She said “Strong, dark, and sweet, like my men.” I said I’d
just have mine fucking irritable once a month…’). Never before
have I heard a man rework the title of “You are the Wind Beneath
My Wings’ so that it makes correct aerodynamical sense. This man
used to work in computers for an insurance company in Belgium (‘I
know what you’re thinking…but it wasn’t that exciting’),
and this shines through - but not in a bad way. The man deserves all the
recognition he can get. He also dealt well with Rich Lawyer and Friends.
A quick interval to refill our glasses, an intro to allow Silky to have
a go at some more of the front row (you know you’re in Oxford when
your Tolkien reference - by way of a Gollum impression - gets the best
laugh) and onto the stage with a slow bound came Milton Jones. With a
rubber face, mad hair, staring eyes and the constant mellifluous undergiggle
of a madman, Jones is the king of gently twisted one-liners. ‘Some
people say the firefighters should get more money…but apparently
a poll was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor…’
It’s the way he tells ‘em. Keeping up with the punchlines of
the talented writer was a challenge all of its own, and not one for the
very drunk. ‘Apparently in China all kids learning the piano start
with a tune called Knife & Fork…’
Whilst lacking the apparently relaxed and flowing spontaneity of a Simon
Munnery (for example), yet going some way toward emulating the same crazy
mannerisms and skew-wiff perspective on life, Milton’s mild insanity
is endearing (and his silencing of Marcus the Moron, another dull heckler,
was masterful). Catch him while he’s still wearing the jumper donated
to him by a stalker.
Next month expect ‘hard-drinking, sweaty, irritable
Canadian’ Mike Wilmott, just back from winning a Barry (Oz’s
Perrier) in Melbourne. Bring it on.
Su Jordan, 01.05.03
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Milton
Jones