Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You
Burton Taylor Theatre, 11-15.03.03


If you were traumatised by nuns at a formative age, or even if you weren’t, you should go along to the Burton Taylor late show for Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You, Christopher Durang’s incisive exploration of why Catholic schooling is Bad, especially the bits with nuns. The Lonely Phallus Productions opts for a bare stage and a long organ introduction, driving you into their programme to escape the growing conviction that you’re trapped in some godforsaken church hall. Fortunately it’s very funny and contains a useful stick-figure guide to mortal and venial sins, which comes in handy when Sister Mary finally starts talking. Sister Mary, played all smiles and sweetness with a core of solid steel-reinforced concrete in a storming performance from Jo Johnson, is here to explain the moral shape of the world, with the help of vividly instructive flip-chart diagrams and the creepily cherubic seven-year-old Thomas, a terrifying vision of cookie-obsessed gender-bending sweetness from Vicky Gardner. When her lecture is interrupted by an impromptu nativity performance by four erstwhile students playing Mary, Joseph (a saintly Harry Scoble-Rees) and a pantomime camel called Mindy, it doesn’t take long for Sister Mary’s charitable veneer to crack and let loose the monster nun within; but will her faith be strong enough to sustain her in the face of grown-up sinners? The pathetically dysfunctional foursome (Emily Coates as Philomena is especially funny) seem barely capable of raising enough conviction to confront the noxious nun, and the play looses steam a bit while they flail around trying to be nasty, but apart from a rather slow monologue from Cat Bray (Diane) the pacing stays high, the jokes funny and the humour nicely cruel. There’s also live cross-hammering, a cutely bearded Baby Jesus and a gunfight. What more could you want?

Jeremy Dennis, 11.03.03