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If you were traumatised by nuns at a formative age, or even if you weren’t,
you should go along to the Burton Taylor late show for Sister Mary Ignatius
Explains It All For You, Christopher Durang’s incisive exploration
of why Catholic schooling is Bad, especially the bits with nuns. The Lonely
Phallus Productions opts for a bare stage and a long organ introduction,
driving you into their programme to escape the growing conviction that
you’re trapped in some godforsaken church hall. Fortunately it’s
very funny and contains a useful stick-figure guide to mortal and venial
sins, which comes in handy when Sister Mary finally starts talking. Sister
Mary, played all smiles and sweetness with a core of solid steel-reinforced
concrete in a storming performance from Jo Johnson, is here to explain
the moral shape of the world, with the help of vividly instructive flip-chart
diagrams and the creepily cherubic seven-year-old Thomas, a terrifying
vision of cookie-obsessed gender-bending sweetness from Vicky Gardner.
When her lecture is interrupted by an impromptu nativity performance by
four erstwhile students playing Mary, Joseph (a saintly Harry Scoble-Rees)
and a pantomime camel called Mindy, it doesn’t take long for Sister
Mary’s charitable veneer to crack and let loose the monster nun within;
but will her faith be strong enough to sustain her in the face of grown-up
sinners? The pathetically dysfunctional foursome (Emily Coates as Philomena
is especially funny) seem barely capable of raising enough conviction
to confront the noxious nun, and the play looses steam a bit while they
flail around trying to be nasty, but apart from a rather slow monologue
from Cat Bray (Diane) the pacing stays high, the jokes funny and the humour
nicely cruel. There’s also live cross-hammering, a cutely bearded
Baby Jesus and a gunfight. What more could you want?
Jeremy Dennis, 11.03.03
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