How To Be An Alien
Burton Taylor Theatre,
11-15.06.02

“It was a shame and bad taste to be an alien, and it is no use pretending otherwise. There is no way out of it. A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society. A foreigner cannot improve. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. There is no way out for him. He may become British; he can never become English.”

The above is an extract from the Preface of George Mikes’ original “How To Be An Alien” (“A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils”), the book so cleverly reworked as the micro-play showing late at the BT this week. Mikes was a Hungarian born journalist and writer, sent to London in 1938 to cover the Munich crisis. He ended up staying. How To Be An Alien was published in 1946, and received with delight by English audiences (much to Mikes’ proclaimed annoyance). The book will have you laughing out loud at the absurd social behaviours of the English, probably because - whilst the language and manners mocked now seem quaintly dated - the attitudes and psychologies of the English remain very much the same. A host of insightful one-liners litter this production as they do the original text: ‘On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.’ ‘An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.’ ‘Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.’

It is no surprise then that this dramatised version had its small first-night audience on Tuesday in fits of laughter throughout. There is no set (a J.A.K.A.L. theatre company trademark), a ferocious amount of movement, full-blown audience participation, stark and effective lighting and even a musical interlude (with ukelele). The presentation is intentionally akin to a 1940s educational broadcast for foreign students of English, and comes complete with booming voiceover (“Part Nine: Sex”), and is pythonesque, to say the least.

Starting at 9.30, this snack of a play is finished by 10, and still manages to be worth every penny of the modest ticket price. A truly excellent book has been deftly translated into an even better stage production. Congratulations J.A.K.A.L. theatre company.

Su Jordan, 12.06.02