This is a useful van: it is very close to the centre of Oxford and in the perfect position for anyone living at the northern end of Cornmarket Street, the eastern end of George Street, or for someone robbing the NatWest late at night. However, here the perfection ends. The popularity enjoyed by this establishment should not fool you into attempting anything from it – it isn’t very good. We originally tried this van sober and decided that it would be better after a few beers. Dutifully, we went back one night in the appropriate state of mind and it was still as bad. There has been no change to the menu from last year. Quite simply, everything about this van is substandard, or at best mediocre. Kebab meat quality is variable, sauces are uniformly uninspiring (although the chilli sauce can be quite hot), lettuce is soggy and brown, and the pitta is really nasty. Chicken meat seems to be (de)composed of all the grey bits you usually throw away, marinated in fat. Oh yeah, the eggs are still appalling.

TOKE rating: Kebab meat: 4, Chicken meat: 3, Salad and pitta: 2, Sauce: 3, Service: 6. Overall 36%.

• Doner: £2.00, £2.40
• Veggie (cheese/egg): £1.70
• Special burger (egg/cheese): £1.80
• Burger: £1.40
• Hot Dog: 1.00
• Cheese: 30p on kebab, 20p on burger
• egg: 30p

Also spuds (low choice, including cheese and/or egg), cheese, egg, egg, cheese, oeuf, fromage. No chips.

Jasper Smith and Tom Fryer