Milked, a two-and-a-half hander written in 2013 by playwright Simon Longman, is revived here by Matchbox Productions. I say and a half because the third role is that of an ailing cow, non-speaking beyond pained breathing and a single baleful moo.
The plot follows the uptight, anxious Paul (Declan Ryder) and cheery but troubled Snowy (Isaac Wighton), two friends who have returned home to Hertfordshire after uni and are struggling to find their footing in adulthood. Paul does hundreds of job applications, hoping for a role in media, but is stymied by his history degree. Snowy, meanwhile, pisses the time away, hiding from the pain caused by his absentee mom and domineering dad by staying perpetually in the present moment.
The catalyst to the story is Snowy finding a sick cow in a field, and convincing Paul to help him cure her. When this fails, the plan turns to putting her out of her misery (it’s a discomfiting dark comedy) and thus follows the friends’ several thwarted attempts to do so.
Not recognizing the source material, I wrongly assumed this play was written by a student. There was a bagginess to the storytelling that made the 75-minute runtime feel longer, with amusing and well-pitched but often repetitive banter between the two leads. The cause and effect of the piece aren’t all that strong - things happen, further things happen, the play ends. This is not necessarily a bad thing - slice-of-life stories can be a delicate and profound way to handle ennui - but it clashes somewhat with the inclusion of Sandy the cow. In her very improbable ongoing survival, it’s clear Sandy is meant to be more of a metaphor than an Attenborough documentary subject.
There was also frustration, at least for this audience member in Paul’s myopia and self-pity. Job hunting is utterly soul-crushing, and living at home as an adult can be an ordeal, even with kind and supportive parents, as Paul is implied to have. But to justify his total self-absorption in the face of his friend’s more difficult lot, you would need to think he’s the most burdened twenty-something in the UK. Now, of course, characters don’t need to be likable to be compelling, but the difference of compassion between the pair here is never satisfyingly addressed.
On a brighter note, the acting is quite marvelous, with both Ryder and Wighton melting utterly into their characters. They deliver the kind of lived-in, raw-hearted performances that can make you forget you’re watching acting at all. The set design, props and blocking also all shine.
Ultimately, Milked has interesting things to say, hypothetically, about modern life, male mental health and friendship, but they get lost in the overall unclarity. Still, I look forward to seeing what this talented company produces next.