Pam Ayres took to the stage in a shimmering coral scalloped-edge top, black trousers and heels and opened with the self-reflective poem ‘Mirror, Mirror’. The audience welcomed her as warmly as an old friend. Pam filled us in on events of the past year, her comic abilities imbuing even the word ‘cubicle’ with colour as she painted a perfect picture of a hospital visit. The first part of the evening ended with the much requested ‘They should have asked my husband’. Later, our vision of Pam demonstrating how to use the adductor machine in the gym had all 600 of us doubled up with fits of laughter. Pam described the well-oiled predator ‘Spike’ (find him on the prowl at any gym) succinctly as ‘a cock bantam of a man’. Pam voiced the fears of most folk at being asked to sit down on a rowing machine with ‘a seat the size of a cocoa lid’.
Poignantly she remarked on how fast time passes, reciting poems that told of times she had shared with her two sons on trips to Australia. Memories of her own childhood holidays came across fresh and vibrant, her tales of her first holiday at Guppy’s camp site resonating with most of the audience. The visual comedy Pam used to show her father checking for the wind direction before setting up the windbreaker was warm and reassuring. The knitted swimwear used back in the day was described hilariously, and in outlining the ritual of the caravan holiday Pam recalled the closeness we all share on our family holidays. Everyone could relate to the description of the carrier bags of food for the beach containing slices of mother’s ‘mean’ cake flavoured with raisins (‘if you were lucky enough to get one’).
Pam held the audience in the palm of her hand for two wholesome hours, treating us to a delightful selection of poems either side of one short interval. The ‘Surgically Enhanced’ Pam Ayres show constitutes one of the happiest evenings you could ever wish to spend.