Valentine's Day Poetry Competition 2011

Love Valentine's Day and want to write soppy verses about it? Hate Valentine's Day and want to write savage satires of squishy human feelings? Either way, you could win a free meal!
Daily Info Staff January 20, 2011
When January's icy grip gives way
To February's thaw our thoughts must stray
To that equally cursed and blessed day
When couples dine in pairs with airs most gay.

For you, is a meal for two a bliss sublime
Or do you spit to hear "St. Valentine"?
Either way, we can lend your night a shine
To win free nosh, just put your thoughts in rhyme!

We've two delicious dinners to be won
The first, that natural food of passion:
Pizza. The second, for those who Cupid shun:
Burgers. And you can take some friends. What fun!

To win these vast repasts, why there's no trick:
Write upon love in pentameter iambic,
Or in haiku, blank verse, ballad, limerick,
But no more doggerel like this, because we're sick of it.

Our famous Valentine's Day Poetry Competitions are now open! Prizes are a meal for two at Fratelli's, Cowley Road (up to a value £50) and a meal for any number of people at Atomic Burger, Cowley Road (up to a value of £50). To win dinner for two at Fratelli's, write a poem praising or being otherwise generally positive towards love/St. Valentine's Day. To win dinner at Atomic Burger, write an anti-Valentine's Day or anti-squishy-human-feelings poem.

Submit your poem using the "Review" field, below right. Remember to include a valid email address and telephone number with your submission, or we won't be able to contact you to give you your prize, should you win!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be notified shortly.
Anti-Valentine's Poetry Winner:

Marriage of Convenience

We fancied ourselves better than the others
No heroes, no knights, no forceful passionate
Bursts of emotion
Clinging like shackles and rattling with the unpredictable
Scatter of Lotto balls
No need of heartache, of weeping eyes and heaving hearts
No need of the messy entanglement
That comes with love or commitment

And yet.
…no excitement or euphoria
No delightful nervousness, no jitters
Nothing but the pedantic safety of our self-constructed prison
Never falling in love…

True; never getting hurt
Never knowing the bitterness of a weeping, violent wound.

But still.
…No breakfast in bed, when we wake up late
Or calling at night, to make up for a fight.
No fulsome joy, no memorising each others faces
No map of our secret lovers’ places

You said to me, what is this worth
If in actuality,
I sacrifice this untravelled life
For quotidian security?

Then I would never know the marriage of true minds
The tingles after a first kiss

You paused. You said,
I no longer think of the heartache we’d evade
But the precious moments we would miss.

Congratulations to Amelia!
Valentine's Poetry Winner:

In the Middle of Revision

I will praise the sofa
Which we usurped today,
Having few grand themes
On which to poeticize.
It was the best bit of my day.

Our neighbouring sofa
Graffitied with cocks
Was occupied by two
On a business meeting,
But we sat touching
Laughing at nothing
Into our lattes
And I noticed our chair’s
Graffiti said, “I love you.”

I’m not sure if I love you.
But I find myself
Aching and alive,
Imagining us reading the papers together,
Or turning the world upside-down.

Congratulations Christa!
Lucy Ayrton February 9, 2011
Every year me and my boyfriend
stay in on Valentine's Day.
We hate watching other couples hold hands,
with their stupid, naked faces all glowing like that.
Instead, we eat pizza
and gently squabble over the remote control.
He is the other half of my soul.
Patrick Pawsey Vale January 31, 2011
to my val
entine
i'd mix you
with wine
but then i'd
pine
because your just
fine
in
wine
most of
the time
but then i'd
restort to
crime
to fill my
listless
mind
which wends and
winds
through the valley
of brine
that is
the sea
of your loveliness
thank goodness
for that
...
END
Lita Doolan January 31, 2011
In the dressing room of the Swansea Grand we find…

Miss Cora Goffin glued to a fan
Well, you got to have a gimmick.
‘No you got to have a pair of shiny tights that are not full of holes’
She cries, then the Stagehand yelps
‘Beginners on stage.’

She growls,
‘You think this is easy…this putting on of slap;
this cramming of heels…into last years shoes?’
She gestures like a grand dame:
‘It’s laddered again. It was laddered before.
The heel on my nylons is gone, gone, gone.’

The crowds on the Prom watch the tide come in
like Swansea is the South of France.
Last weekday matinee of the season and the fan has waited
this long to say, ‘You are my idol,
you melt under spotlight Miss Goffin and I melt when you melt.’

She replies, ‘Have you seen the conditions I put up with here?
Frost on the radiators.
They’re calling me.
But – Tights?
No - you don’t.
But I do – want a cigarette
I have a great set of legs don’t I?’
Pausing for breath the fan pipes up
‘You are dressed as a boy Miss Goffin.’

‘The theatre world is for misfits or losers,
for the rest of my life
I’m going to be a good wife and live.
Happily ever after,
tonight I retire.
You love the long hours and the lonely Stars
on the exit of their careers.
Not the reality of stage door rats, razor blade fights
and the bitch slaps for juicy parts
that ended last night in my pair of wrecked tights.’
Judith Davies January 28, 2011
Hark! The Star Crossed Lovers Sing
(apologies to Charles Wesley)
Fresh made pasta is the primo,
On the menu of great fayre;
Cappuccino, lots of vino,
Both these beverages there,
Joyful all ye sweethearts dine,
Eat fine food and sup fine wine;
Insalata’s always good,
Gnocchi too? I know I would;
Hark, the star-crossed lovers sing,
This beats any Burger King.

Cupid come and take your aim,
With Grissini as your dart;
Inject love in every vein;
Thus it flows, straight through the heart;
Mozzarella breaks the fall,
Basil leaves carpet the hall;
With tomatoes on the side,
Il Tricolore satisfied,
Hark! The star-crossed lovers sing;
This beats any Burger King.

The Cassata sings to you:
“Come and eat me, do it now!”
Soon it’s joined by Tiramisu;
You must choose, but don’t know how,
Then Biscotti joins the call –
Don’t they know you love them all?
Amore is here to stay;
On this special Valentine’s Day,
Hark! The star-crossed lovers sing,
This beats ANY Burger King!
SMB January 20, 2011
Decisions, decisions
There’s never a reason to gush and to coo
If you want to express loving feelings.
In proper society saccharine’s shunned
And eyes are rolled up towards ceilings.

It just doesn’t do for a gentleman who
Has designs on a young lady’s ardour,
To invest in crap cards and cheap choccies or scent.
He really should try so much harder.

A dîner à deux is the right thing to do
If you’re out to impress her, my friend.
The best restaurant you can find is the choice
With no thought about what you might spend.

So scouring the pages for local reviews
Is a sensible step to be taken.
A recommendation you trust is the best
If her faith in you’s not to be shaken.

So thanks, Daily Info, my guide in such matters,
For the reviews that we find on your pages.
Without these we’d struggle to know what is what
And a choice would take ages and ages.

My last problem now is to categorise this:
As Valentine anti or pro.
It’s going to be tricky – there’s elements of both
And I’m not sure which way I should go.

Fratelli’s: so fine with its pizzas and wine
And Atomic’s got burgers to die for.
I really have problems deciding on which
Of these two places I would enjoy more.

So maybe you’d let me submit this for both
As the prizes for each so appeal.
Either would make the ideal place to take
My wife for a Valentine meal!
mum dont give me garlic bread on the 14th,
and i dont want baked beans either,
can you make sure my shirt is ironed,
with creases down the sleeve,
and my jeans are in the cupboard,
i will need clean undies too,
and i better have clean socks ,
"just in case" - you know what i mean,
"well that's what you always told me, wasn't it mum"
oh can i borrow a couple of quid too,
as i've run out of readys,
mum get my after shave while you're down the shop,
and get me a nice smelly shampoo
she will be here at 6pm,
can you open the door and let her in,
oh and mum, don't embarrass me, treat me like an adult.
Your hair glows and glistens like the vibrant sun
Your soul is brimming with so much love and fun.
Yours is a smile that can light up a thousand skies
And a beauty so divine no one can match an angel cries.

These words that are spoken are heartfelt and true
Your splendour is a mystery just no clue
To even consider giving you a nine,
Should result in the harshest fine
Because you are the standout ten!!

Your essence reminds me of a summer breeze
Just one look at you would make any man freeze
Yours is a smile that can light up a thousand skies
And a beauty so divine no one can match an angel cries.

These words that are spoken are heartfelt and true
Your splendour is a mystery just no clue
To even consider giving you a nine,
Should result in the harshest fine
Because you are the standout ten!!

Waking up next to you would be such a pleasure
A moment in life i would always treasure
Yours is a smile that can light up a thousand skies
And a beauty so divine no one can match an angel cries.

These words that are spoken are heartfelt and true
Your splendour is a mystery just no clue
To even consider giving you a nine,
Should result in the harshest fine
Because you are the standout ten!!
In your eyes I see your soul.
Where love has become the goal.
To me we are written in the stars
and as our love spreads to Mars.
It gives hope to those who pray by night.
To find their true one under the moon light.

This is a cosmic love that shoots through the sky.
Renewing hearts and getting us to try.
This is a cosmic love that is burning deep inside.
Something this good we can't hide,
coz this is our cosmic love.

In your voice I hear the echoes of joy.
Like lovers who are destined for Troy.
To the world we look down with a heavenly glow
and life seems to be a majestically flow
It gives hope to those who pray by night.
To find their true one under the moon light.

This is a cosmic love that shoots through the sky.
Renewing hearts and getting us to try.
This is a cosmic love that is burning deep inside.
Something this good we can't hide,
coz this is our cosmic love.

In your eyes I see your soul.
Where love has become the goal.
To me our love shines brighter than the Sun
And as we send out our rays of fun
It gives hope to those who pray by night.
To find their true one under the moon light.

This is a cosmic love that shoots through the sky.
Renewing hearts and getting us to try.
This is a cosmic love that is burning deep inside.
Something this good we can't hide,
coz this is our cosmic love.
Baby one look at you has got me in a spin
If I turn again then I know it will be a sin
Your eyes shine brighter than the nights sky
You beauty makes all the angels cry

Some times you don't even speak and yet I'm lost for words
if I had to fight then it would the old school way with swords
to defend you from whatever harm that comes your way
Coz it would be an honour to be by your side every day
for you are the queen of hearts

Baby one touch from you sends a shiver down my spine
You could get a country to fall into line
To see those eyes that shine brightly in the nights sky
and whose beauty makes the angels just sigh

Some times you don't even speak and yet I'm lost for words
if I had to fight then it would the old school way with swords
to defend you from whatever harm that comes your way
Coz it would be an honour to be by your side every day
for you are the queen of hearts

Baby one look at you has got me in a spin
If I turn again then I know it will be a sin
Your eyes shine brighter than the nights sky
You beauty makes all the angels cry

Some times you don't even speak and yet I'm lost for words
if I had to fight then it would the old school way with swords
to defend you from whatever harm that comes your way
Coz it would be an honour to be by your side every day
for you are the queen of hearts
If words had a price, than your name is a billion
Because you my dear are worth more than a million
A sexy Swedish smile that can melt a tonne of ice
And a super seductive body that is oh so nice
Thoughts of you are always running on my mind.
I hope that these feelings can be repaid in kind

Baby you don’t realise how much you mean to me
Because when I look into your eyes, I know where I want to be
It’s with you baby, with you. I only want to be with you baby.
With you, I just want to be with you.

If life was a film, than your name would be up in lights.
So many leading men trying to be your man, would cause fights.
If there is a blueprint for beauty, than I’m sure it’s you.
Someone who is glamorous and graceful, it’s all so true
Thoughts of you are always running on my mind.
I hope that these feelings can be repaid in kind

Baby you don’t realise how much you mean to me
Because when I look into your eyes, I know where I want to be
It’s with you baby, with you. I only want to be with you baby.
With you, I just want to be with you

Even if they offered me the Earth and said stay away
I’d refuse and fight for you till my dying day
Because I want to be with you and only you

Baby you don’t realise how much you mean to me
Because when I look into your eyes, I know where I want to be
It’s with you baby, with you. I only want to be with you baby.
With you, I just want to be with you
All i remember from last night is your hourglass figure
and thoughts of you in that dress definitely still linger
The way your smile lit up the place
doesn't do justice to the beauty of your face

When you walk into a room
trust me my heart goes boom
Its like you have control over me
Girl you know you get me hypnotised

All I remember from last night is your sensual eyes
and you can get me doing all sorts even telling lies
The way you look gives me a thrill
But gotta keep my game face on and chill

When you walk into a room
trust me my heart goes boom
Its like you have control over me
Girl you know you get me hypnotised

All i remember from last night is your hourglass figure
and thoughts of you in that dress definitely still linger
The way your smile lit up the place
doesn't do justice to the beauty of your face

When you walk into a room
trust me my heart goes boom
Its like you have control over me
Girl you know you get me hypnotised
Ed's chair collapses,
All weak at the knees.
Or I kick out the legs,
who knows.
They heap at my feet,
a-moaning, I'm glad,
saved me from spraying my hose.

'Get up' I say,
under the table.
After a pause,
I peek.
What! Blimey! Jesus!
Whoa Nelly! I say-
'I'm just gonna take a leak'.

These days it's quite rude,
to shag right there,
in England,
during dinner for three.
It's damn thoughtless,
I think to myself,
pulling my trousers down round by my knees.
I don't like Valentine's Day,
Being told how to feel and what to say.

Commercial love forced upon us:
"This is the day to make a fuss!"

But it's just another day on the calendar,
No urgent need to buy chocolates and lavender.

Our love does not depend on the time,
And this is what I tell to mine:

On the 14th, others may spend more,
But I'll love you the other 364.
Beneath an umbrella,
I hold her hand,
Trembling in the cold drizzle

Beneath an umbrella,
The rain pounds and heaves,
Her breath hits the air in a thick mist

The fireworks inside my heart crash against my chest, my eyes fixated on her magic, and with every breath, the bangs and flickers of my heart beat harder and faster.

Beneath an umbrella we stare up into the frosted sky,
Glittered with a wash of moonlit colours …
Ruby, Bronze, Azure, Indigo, Gold, Magenta – Flirting frivolously with the night, spiralling and spilling in a flood above our heads.

The cacophony of hoots, cackles and wails pierce through the night air, illuminating our world and casting a lovesick spell amid the stars. We watch the flames waltz, like peacock feathers darted into the dark, as it blushes our cheeks.

Beneath an umbrella I fell in love.
I felt the ball of fire in my heart
Long before you arrived
It was gracefully ignited by your presence
And when you gazed into my eyes
I felt it consume me

St Valentine, new stranger
All collided at once
With hot molten fire, unequal to those past
Prejudiced lessons forgotten
I felt it consume me

I welcomed it with courage
Determined to believe cupids arrow
Growing old now in years and soul,
Passion a slow intense white glow
I feel it consume me
Matthew, I'm in love with you
and I don't even know why!
Matthew, I'm in love with you
'cos you're my kind of guy!

When you smile, I feel a bit funny
it's just a shame you still live with your Mummy

Oh, Matthew I'm in love with you!
(Let's hope you love me too!)
You, always by my side,
at least, not literally
but in dreams.

Selfish as it may seem,
on awaking
I want my dream.

If it were to be true,
and I be always beside you,
nothing could trick my mind,
no dark sorrows in me
you would find.

But life as it goes,
reality shall impose,
and I must try to
be without you.
you are natural 

hairs of grey shooting through,
the laughing lines upon you face,
are characters of our skin,
the faded spots of teenage embarassments,
browney pigments of the days in sun,
teeth of silver and gaps for storage,
tube of whittening in the cupboard,
dry weathered hands that cream no longer smooths,
wings beneath your arm,
and that spare trye round your middle,
legs of hair ,
that no one sees ,
comfortable shoes,
that ease the pain

50 years of joy,
you've given to me ,
i'll be your valentine,
with my bold head and my plates of teeth ,
my uncontrolable flatulance,
and my afternoon naps ,
my worn socks in the bathroom and my off colour white vest,

true valentine comes everyday
‘Big mistake,’ I thought,
After ordering the salad,
Because a salad
On a first date
Is always a bad idea.

But he was cute,
Wore a button shirt -
Which is essential 
To show a girl
You mean business.

I met the parents -
At a football match.
It went alright...
Thank goodness
We won.

‘Why no drama?’ I thought,
After six months or so,
But I love him
No need for spectacle
I prefer our real glow.
Placing her single red rose on the surface
Alone at a table for two.
Not looking up at the people around her
Too shy or too scared of the view.

A small glass of wine and her bag by her side
Her hair in a freshly blown style
Her clothes and her make up reflecting her years
And a frown where there once sat a smile.

A minute has passed but if feels a like life time
Memories of pain from her past.
A man she once loved but who left her alone
All those years that have flown by too fast.

Her one final chance, her one single wish
Gently slipping away in one meeting.
Alone at a table, a beautiful rose
And a woman whose life seems so fleeting.

She takes her last sip; lets the wine warm her body
Then she places the glass on the table.
As she turns to walk out a man wanders in
Like the prince from an old fashioned fable.

A single red rose and a life filled with wishes
The years on his face slip away.
The girl he has loved is alone at a table
Nothings changed from that very first day.
1) Refuse to even acknowledge the demand
2) Slap him with the front and back of your hand
3) You’re in a relationship, you’re married, you’re gay
4) You still live with your parents, they’d get in the way
5) He can’t have your number, you’ve lost your phone
6) You’ve taken a vow to always be alone
7) You think he should know you were born a man
8) You’re just about to move to Japan
9) You’re allergic to any other human’s sweat
10) You’re only talking to him to win a bet
11) He reminds you of a guy you used to date
12) You would rather go out with his best mate
13) You’re a Scientologist, just like Tom Cruise
14) You’re 100% addicted to booze
15) You now have fifteen restraining orders
16) You legally can’t leave the UK’s borders
17) You getting married in just under a week
18) You’ve been voted the world’s biggest Star Trek Geek.
19) You’re already having an affair with his wife
20) You’d rather be single for the rest of your life
My Wife

How fair the luster of thine eyes
Truth against a world's blanket lies
With tenderness in thy vowed resolve
Thou weave the union of our souls
I'd choose a chunk of cheddar
I'd certainly choose cheese

I hanker for Halloumi
I'd get down on my knees
For a nibble of Northumberland
Or a piece of Perroche please

I'd love a lttle Leafield
Lick a plate of Liptoi clean
I crave a Cambazola
In my deepest Edam dream

The vulgarity of Vulscombe
The hue of Beenleigh's Blue
Adamantine Ardi-Grasna
Creamy Crottin, I love you

Teifi is terrific
Try some Teleme on toast
Taste Tillamook, Toscana
Or Cuajada from the coast

I have a penchant for Pencarreg
A lust for Leicester Red
A yearning for some Jarlsberg
A hunger in my head

For a sliver of Scamorza
A hunk of Hermélin
A knob of finest Neufchatel
A smear of Soumaintrain

I'd grab a Gruyère in a minute
On reclette I'd spike and spin it
My love of Langres knows no limit
Craving crack just isn't in it!

In Serra da Estrela
In a pungent Parmesan
In a dish of Devon Garland
Every woman every man

Join me in jubilation
In Apache or Chinese
Oh! Yield to Temptation
And cry 'Three Cheers for Cheese!'
Dearest bloke

When winter licks its icy tongue around my lips
And Christmas chocolate still hangs around my hips
It's good to know you love me still
I think of Troy and ancient Attica
As I rub oil on your sciatica
I never had a face to launch a thousand ships
And yet you know I care enough
Not like some flirty bit of fluff
And so I hope you will stay mine
My creaking ageing Valentine!
I found a piece of chocolate
Underneath a tree
I knew this piece of chocolate
Was waiting there for me

My name was written on it
By who I do not know
They know my love for chocolate
I'm not afraid to show

I gently bent to gather it
Within my grasp so sweet
Soon to meet my lips and mouth
A pleasure sure to eat

I pondered when to taste
This valued treat of mine
That's when I felt the tender touch
Of my beloved valentine

His kiss was even sweeter
Than this gift he gave to me
His love more rich and treasured
Than this chocolate could be

I love them both quite dearly
Yet if I had to choose
My valentine would win my heart
Sweet chocolate You lose
Nobody could be so special
as you are to me
fills my life,
my heart
my world with so much happiness.

Nobody else could make me whole
you make me
with a simple gesture,
with their sweet words,
with your smile
with her delicious warmth.

Nobody could be that person,
so special
so sweet
so captivating
so sweet
so tender
so lovely
fascinating
as passionate as you are to me.

No one else could know me and
I understand better than you

Nobody else could be my baby ...
Nobody, except you.

Remember ...

I loved you yesterday
Love today
I'll love you forever ... forever.

Happy Valentine's Day, my LOVE ...
Listen
Read phonetically
Dictionary - View detailed dictionary
While the economy slumps our love continues to boom
Whilst share prices plummet our commodity increases in value
I fell in love with you when we had our very first kiss
Making me wait until our fourth date……….hisssssss!

I’ve waited my entire life for a love like this
before I met you I was lost in the abyss.
I treasure the map which led me to your heart
I was surrounded by 13 of cupid’s arrows and hit with 1 dart.

I know you’re looking forward to the 14th
Sniffing around for a hint and a sight of your gift.
When I feel low your encouraging smile gives me a lift.
Your belief in me lets me stand as tall as a mountain

I am under the thumb
I’m not embarrassed to say
I fancy a roll in the hay
What do you say?
Ode to the 14th of February

Buy her diamonds, buy him wine
On this feast of Valentine.
Out for dinner, buy a card,
(Is your wallet feeling scarred?)
Fancy clothes and jewellery,
Romance doesn’t come for free.
I can’t handle this expense,
So, like anyone with sense,
I’ll be staying in this year
With my loyal pint of beer.
I’m not bitter, I’m just poor
And of this I am quite sure:
This is a conspiracy
Made to bankrupt folk like me.
Never mind, it’s just as well,
I’m still single. Can you tell?
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Hearts and roses and chocolates galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get gooey and act all queer,
It is definitely the most sickening day of the year.
St Valentines hurry up and pass,
Before I shove something up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all loving and sweet but soon it will fade,
For all they want is to get laid.
Cupid's arrow not have hit,
Cause I think this love thing is a crock of shit.
So, here's my story... what else can I say?
Love bites my ass... F**k Valentines Day
A slight pause and I began to think,
That dream that what was once in me,
Inner pictures of that belief,
That someday I may catch you in my sleep,
Walk around hand in hand and be at peace.

A sudden teardrop appears from above.
Like water running through a beautiful stream.
Everything has a beginning,
Everything has an end.

I hope to see that day again,
When the door opens and the sky turns blue,
That feeling when all is good,
The sounds, the air, it's all you....

A sudden teardrop appears in my heart,
Like water running though a beautiful stream,
Everything has a beginning,
Everything has an end...

Just be ready when the clock sounds ten..
That day when the days come to an end.
Be sure all will revealed,
An angel singing to you with a glorious feel.
the part of me that want you, is my heart,
the part that wants to dump you is my brain,
the part that wants to hold you are my arms,
the parts that want to run away are my legs
the parts of me that look at you, are my eyes
the part of me,that are my lips, sometimes lie
the parts of me that touch you, are my hands
the parts of me that dos'nt listen are my ears
its a classic statement we have all heard before,
that i cant live with you but cant live without you,
happy valentine
Mukram is brilliant
Mukram is great
He calms me down
When I'm in a state
He makes me laugh
When I'm feeling blue
This is to tell him
"I really love you"

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