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Anti-Valentine's Day Competition 2018

Valentine's Day: love it or loathe it? What's the most inappropriate choice of film for a first date?

This competition has now closed - thanks for entering!

Does Valentine's Day with its flowers, chocolates and sweet-nothings whispered by the fireplace seem awful, cloying? [It does - Ed.]

Tell us in the form below which film would be the most inappropriate choice for a first date to enter.

Two pairs of tickets to see Hedda on Thurs 22nd Feb and The Wedding on Thurs 1st March at the Oxford Playhouse

Award-winning writer Lucy Kirkwood's contemporary adaption of Henrik Ibsen's Hedda sees the eponymous heroine manipulating those around her to devastating effect. Combining movement, imagery and provocative narratives into Gecko’s trademark style, The Wedding brings these contracts into question with an emotionally charged and spectacular dance/physical theatre performance.

The Oxford Playhouse present and produce a wide range of live performance, including the best of British and international drama, family shows, contemporary dance and music, student and amateur shows, comedy, lectures and poetry.

A voucher for a Halk Walk at Wheatley Birds of Prey

Your Halk Walk experience will include a 2 hour hands-on experience involving flying the birds and getting to see these magnificent creatures up close and personal. The voucher is worth £70 (£60 for the halk walker and £10 for a spectator) and comes highly recommended by us - here's our review of the experience if you need convincing!

Wheatley Birds of Prey is owned by Clive and Jayne who have over 30 years of experience working with raptors, and have an impressive variety of birds to meet, including Burrowing, Snowy and Spotted African owls, hawks, falcons (Peregrines and Merlins), American and European kestrels, buzzards and even a Russian Steppes eagle!

Enter your sentence in the box below or email it & your choice of prize [email protected]

If you love Valentine's Day and everything it stands for and enter our Pro-Valentine's Day competition and tell the world!

Even if you despise the day of love, you still might like to post a totally ironic and unsentimental message to that person in your life who is not in the least special or noteworthy. If this sounds about right, then write a message on our board and it might get immortalised in our printed sheet!

Entries so far:

The Human Centipede - never seen it because just the trailer makes me want to vomit. And if the date likes it a lot then they are definitely not the one....eek!

Die Hard. Classic man film. At the risk of perpetuating gender stereotypes, but I'm a man and it's not my kind of film at all! Ok - maybe it is...

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

A Postman Always Rings Twice – A woman decides it's better to kill her husband than to get a divorce

The Break Up – Well the title says it all!

Pirates 2 – It's about pirates getting kinky on a ship and is VERY graphic so could make for some interesting viewing on a first date!

Schindler's List, surely.

Bad Taste - Peter Jackson, the director of Lord of The Rings, made his directorial debut with a film about "... the population of a small town which disappears and is replaced by aliens that chase human flesh for their intergalactic fast-food chain." If the person you've taken to see it on Valentiine's day likes it, you've found the one.

Fatal attraction! A stalking, clingy, crazy woman has affair with married man - a perfect Valentine's Day mismatch film.

Kramer vs. Kramer. Happy ever after? Haha, it’s all going to end in tears...

The Greasy Strangler is perhaps the finest example I can think of for a truly awful date movie. It revels in unflattering scenes of full frontal male and female nudity, absurd amounts of gore, an abundance of scenes featuring gratuitous consumption of greasy food, and some eye wateringly bad dialogue. Then again... if you can both survive the film and make it to date number two, perhaps it's meant to be. (You sickos!)

The Road - can't see much smooching happening in the back row during that one.

Titanic - watching two people fall madly in love when you are on a fist date - awkward! Also its SO long, even more so if you don't like your date and want a quick get away!

A friend took first date to see Terry Gilliam's Brazil film. Given that Rotten Tomatoes has described it as being "awash in elaborate special effects, sensational sets, apocalyptic scenes of destruction and a general lack of discipline". Not the stuff of romance, however must have been bonding as said friend then married date.

Insidious 4

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